"...what a person accomplishes in life is directly correlated with the people around them." - John Berardi

Sunday, April 6, 2014

Weekly Challenge: Speak this Fluently!

Who's ready for another week? How did the fat-loss habits go? I wasn't perfect with mine but have enjoyed the challenge to make the conscious effort to stop eating by 6 or 7pm each day. I'm going to keep focusing on it until it becomes second nature. 

I'm excited for this next challenge & hope you will be too after reading about it!

Maybe you've heard about the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman? The book basically brings up the fact that we all feel love differently. Chapman has 5 general categories for expressing/feeling love:

1. Words of Affirmation - Genuine, positive words of encouragement & praise. 

2. Gifts - Can be purchased or free. Money doesn't matter, it's about the thought. 

3. Quality Time - Not only time together in the same room but focused attention spent with that person. 

4. Physical Touch - Hugs, kisses, back rub/scratch, etc.  

5. Acts of service - Doing the dishes, changing the baby's diaper, mowing the lawn, etc.

Call these "languages" whatever you want or maybe you think there are only 4 or 6 languages but I definitely agree that we all feel love differently. I have seen myself and others try to express love that is not recognized by another because it's not one of the primary ways that person feels loved. Chapman said that we can enjoy and feel loved by many of theses different types of love but most of us have a "primary love language" that often means more to us than the others. 

He also talks about the "In love" experience that people have when first dating that typically doesn't last more than 2 years. Sometimes that feeling ends much sooner. At that point, whenever it is, is when we have to make a choice to love. To repeat, to love is a CHOICE. It cannot be forced. 

So here's the challenge... 

1. Figure out your own love language. Here's a profile you can take to figure it out if you're unsure. 

2. Decide on a person in your life that you'd like to improve your relationship with (spouse/significant other, child, cousin, roommate, etc.) and figure out what their primary love language is. If you're not sure what it is, ask them or have them write down the top five things another person can do to help them feel the most loved.

3. Once you think you've figured out their primary love language, do one thing each day to help them feel loved. By doing this, you are making the choice to express love. The goal is to fill their emotional "love tank." Some people are willing to "run on empty" longer than others. But as a person feels loved, they'll naturally want to reciprocate the good feelings & genuine expressions of love back to you. 

Alright, let's do this and improve our relationships this week! Maybe you think this is crazy... All I can really say is that I know it's made many of my relationships better by figuring how they best feel loved. You'll certainly never know if it works until you give it a try! 

What's your primary love language? I'm a Quality Time girl with Acts of Service and Words of Affirmation both close behind!

Picture Credit: The Five Love Languages book cover